34.             Lack of Public Knowledge

Importantly, Patricia, the Chief, and myself—all educated individuals—were unaware of this correlation between egotism and an absence of love. (Again, I had recognized the overlap only recently: during my walk with Mr. Lord.) Therefore, if this obvious-once-recognized correlation is not, now, known—even to the educated classes—were it made known, countless others, as did Mr. Lord, could, too, quickly change. This is good news!

Regarding this lack of obviousness, when Google searching “egotists do not get love,” the first hit was an article on eHarmony UK, titled, “Are you ruled by your ego? And is it getting in the way of your love life?” The closest this fairly lengthy article came to the link between egotism and the inability to achieve true love was the following:

Recognising [British spelling] that you’re an egotist is the first step to stop it hindering your success in the dating world.

And,

Being an egotist doesn’t mean you’re a bad person, just that you haven’t developed tools that enable you to see other people as equal. When you do [develop such tools], all your relationships will improve.

The search’s fifth line hit was Wikihow’s “Expert Reviewed” article, “How to Have a Romantic Relationship With an Egotistical Person.” This considerable piece stated that “there are potential pitfalls that come from being in a relationship with an egotist.” The article, too, advised that one may want to back out of a relationship with an egotistical person. However, nowhere did it clearly state that true love cannot be experienced by egotists.

Google’s third and four hits turned up little more than what was above stated. Regarding the search’s second hit, which was Wikipedia’s Egotism section, such would be, perhaps, most reflective of current, mass understanding of our topic. Therefore, and as pertains to egotism and love, under Egotism’s main heading area it said, “Egotism means placing oneself at the core of one’s world with no concern for others, including those ‘loved’ or considered as ‘close,’ in any other terms except those subjectively set by the egotist.” (“Loved” and “close” were in quotes, implying that the author did feel that an egotist may be unable to experience both real love and closeness to others.)

Under Egotism’s subsection named, “Sex,” the following was written:

There is a question mark over the relationship between sex and egotism. Sigmund Freud popularly made the claim that love can transform the egotist, giving him or her a new sense of humility in relation to others.

But at the same time, it is very apparent that egotism can readily show itself in sexual ways, and indeed arguably one’s whole sexuality may function in the service of egotistical needs.

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